some things never change EH!

so, I  haven't been blogging at all lately... here's a quick catch me up;


EMT school completed. SCORE! and now all I have to do is wait 3 weeks to take my state exam to get licensed, and then I can start working as an EMT -amen!


my hair is long. my diet is small. i need more tattoos. i mailed 6 valentines day cards to members in my family, kids cards got spongebob stickers and the adults got scratch tickets. let's hope my good deed comes back to me one day. showing la familia amor. <3


i've been working out a ton. 4x a week i run 2-2.5 miles, lift and i attend yoga classes on tuesdays. i started off working out to lose weight because i was feeling a little down, but then i realized i'm actually doing it to feel better about myself... feel healthy, and remember that it's important to treat your body well, as it's the only one i have.


but i have this constant plaguing thought, will i ever be happy with my self appearance? ever?! i lost 60 lbs, and then i wasn't even happy... and now, as a 24 year old strong independent woman i know i've got a HUGE  heart, loving soul, sarcastic sense of humor, and a clear head on my shoulders, all things i think make me beautiful.


extremely beautiful.


but why can't i get past this notion i'm supposed to look a certain way? hell, even if i was a size 4 would i ever be satisfied? who am i kidding?!?!!! 


i wil never be 100% comfortable with my appearance, and i'm not sure any woman will honestly admit they are. i'm beautiful,  aPublish Postnd although i'm told it often, i need to learn to believe it. i don't need anyones approval, i REFUSE to let anyone bring me down!!! 


on a side note, i'm sleeping in too late, and watching bad reality TV.... so I can't wait to get my EMT license and start wooooorkkkkkin. 


oh, and i start roller derby soon.
YES!

promises are everything,..

And when they arent kept, my heart breakes a little each time..

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schoool

Ok, so after my first week of EMT bootcamp Im exhausted... mentally. So much to cram in.

8 hours of class a day, after being out of school for 6yrs is rough.

But I am trying my hardest, and I passed my 1st A&P exam!! Yahoo.

Seriously considering fire fighting. Yess!

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oppossiitees

This whole, school from 8 to 4, and Kurt working 1to10pm is haarrdd and I am not a fan, BUT you do what you have to.

I am determined to work hard, study hard, eat healthier and make it to the gym.

2011 is going to be MY year, after many ups and downs, this ones mine!! xo

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opposition is a m'effer.

often times i wonder if my feelings are justified. i'm sure it's because when we face opposition we are constantly told we are wrong, and what we feel isn't valid - but it is...and more often than not i let what others think effect me, and i second guess my feelings.  who is to tell me how to feel? my feelings are just that- mine. they don't have to coincide with yours, or get your stamp of approval... they are what i feel.  black and white.  that is all there is to it.  


i think as women, we often second guess ourselves.  the moment someone voices an opinion that disagrees with ours we think "maybe they are right?" maybe it's because we aim to please. maybe it's just because i'm a push over. who knows? 


all i know is i used to be rock solid. stay true to myself, say what i feel, be who i am, and not let anyone tear me down.... but lately i feel torn down. tattered. i really wish i was as strong as i used to be...


on a side note, i can't stop listening to lcd soundsystem, and that really cheers me up. plus- it's the holidays! 


xo
linds

LCD Soundsystem-Dance Yrself Clean (w/lyrics) HQ

saturday morning photo shoot, <3

Cookies, PJs, and tree decorating oh my!

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