March 14th used to be my favorite day. albert einstein and I share the same birthday, obviously because we're equally amazing! :) I kid, I kid! the big 2-5. for whatever reason I was expecting some big "sha-bam".. maybe a huge surprise, or a huge wake up call.. a huge something,..I don't know exactly what I was expecting, but I thought turning 25 would have some POP to it...turns out, it's no big deal.. I felt it was pretty significant, I'm not a kid anymore, time to get (more) serriioouusss. My dad left me a voice mail saying "look on the bright side- in 75 years you'll be 100" and laughed ridiculously. maybe he thinks it's hilarious but I find it terrifying. I guess the older you get, the smaller your circle gets, and the less important celebrating your age becomes. Well, it's noted,... now moving on....
Roller Derby. I can't tell you how emotional I get when I see movies/clips/scrimmages/bios about women competing in this intense sport. I have never wanted to be so good at something in a long time. As someone who's competed athletically my entire life, I thought I'd have an upper hand going into this sport... HOW HUMBLING! I am struggling, and trying my hardest. I've always been great at everything I do, naturally athletic, but Roller Derby = hardest.shit.ever! no joke. It's hard not to get discouraged, and feel like I'm wasting my time, but I JUST started and I think I need to give myself some time to make mistakes, learn the sport, and wrap my head around it all. Oh, and the 1 hour 20 minute drive down there 2x a week kind of sucks a big one, but I WANT this, and I'm going to try my hardest!!! I have a new found respect for derby girls.. Not only are they amazing athletes, but I feel comfortable around them... I like that they come in all shapes and sizes, all athletic abilities, and they all have their own little "quirkiness".. So, I hope like hell I make it through these next 8 weeks! CROSS YOUR FINGERS!
EMT business... I took my state practical, and I'm 98% sure I passed. 3-5 weeks I get a letter in the mail saying that I passed and I can go take my state written exam, and once I pass that I am certified. Although I'm trying to qualify for financial aid for Paramedic school. That's another endeavor all in itself. I want to be great. I want to be financially independent for my entire adult life.... I want to be excellent and help people!
I've come to terms with my families problems with addiction, and thank goodness for my Aunt, little cousin Emma, and my Grampy, they are my saving grace, and I love them to death. On my way to derby I stop and spend time with Emma, and we play... and she reminds me what life is all about.
I woke up today to little notes posted all around the house. Kurt's mom left me birthday surprises everywhere, got me a few gifts, and a cake, and really went above and beyond to make me feel special,.....and man do I love that woman! <3
I've traveled for so much of my early adult life, I've made so many friends, and when I woke up and saw all of my happy birthday messages on FB I was so happy. I'm so blessed to have the amazing people I have in my life, here, and far away. So Thank You all!
Now, I'm heading out to dinner w/Kurt for my birthday <3 excited for a little date! <3
